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In the spirit of today’s Mail Sack episode, I have to admit that I was completely wrong when I said that Jerry Hairston Jr. and Scott Hairston weren’t related. That, as pointed out below, was untrue, they are brothers.

To: hosts@cubscast.com
From: Chris W.
Subject: Scott and Jerry Hairston

Scott and Jerry Hairston ARE brothers. Death to Jim Edmonds!

C-Dub

I have no idea why I thought they weren’t related, other than thinking that I’d heard that they weren’t years ago. However, now that the truth is known (to me), this doubles the number of authentic Hairstons in the majors, so today is a good day. Fans in the left field stands, beware.

After their awesome start to the season and record-setting April, the Cubs are now mired in an awkward slump. Awkward because the offense that is generating the most runs per game in the National League isn’t supposed to lose 8 out of 11 games. But we’ve found a way. But as inexplicable as the losses have been, the wins are just as difficult to account for. Ronny Cedeno taking walks? What kind of twilight zone episode is this?

Maybe we should just admit that this is the team we expected to see when the season started on March 31st: A team that loses too many close games and occasionally beats the heck out of the competition. That was the 2007 Cubs. Or more correctly that was the 2007 Central Division Champion Chicago Cubs. Our formula last season was to tread water until the pitching staffs for the rest of the division broke down, and then we rode the bouncing coattails of Alfonso Soriano in September. It worked then, and it will work again this year.

In a way it’s just sad that we’ve already seen what this 2008 Cubs team is capable of so early in the season. It makes seeing it every third or fourth game its own form of slow burning pain. But take solace, Cubs fans, because as much as the Cubs haven’t perfected their potion, neither have the White Sox. Their struggles are so bad that they put all their bats next to a bunch of blow-up dolls in the clubhouse as a joke. That just proves that nobody in this city has perfected anything except silliness, and we can expect plenty of that from both sides of town throughout the summer.

Considering the dolls and the Cubs tough losses at St. Louis and Cincinnati just goes to show that a fluke in baseball is still the norm. A broken-bat flare off of Ryan Dempster scored 2 runs on Monday night, the runs that ended up making the difference in the game. A few blown calls on sliding plays at home plate effected the outcomes both Sunday and Monday.

How should the Cubs answer? Two things: get out an airpump, and start Ronny Cedeno. You never know, it might work.

UPDATE: Congrats to David W., this week’s winner!

As announced on today’s episode, the Cubscast Photo Caption Contest is back! To submit an entry, simply click on the photo below and enter your caption as a comment. Everyone is welcome to participate (even fans of our Central Division rivals). First prize this week is a Cubscast Prize Pack which includes a Cubs-related DVD. Official Photo Caption Contest Rules.

Contest ended on Sunday April 27th at 8 p.m. CST. This week’s photo was provided by JoeSportsFan.

Thanks again to everyone for participating!

Part of what makes a play-by-play announcer serviceable is the ability to distinguish between typical and atypical on the baseball diamond. It’s something that can’t be taught, and the most endearing announcers are just plain honest, never faking their surprise or non-surprise at what happens over the course of a game. For that reason it makes no sense that Reds broadcaster Marty Brennaman would launch the verbal barrage that he did after Adam Dunn’s HR. He called atypical “typical,” and he got it wrong.

Brennaman’s misplaced, insert-a-quarter-to-begin anger combined with his partner Jeff Brantley’s goat fantasies hasn’t only elicited an angry response from Cubs fans, it’s also put pen to paper for Jay Mariotti, who in his latest column lumps ThrowbackGate in with other embarrassing Wrigley moments, calls for reform, and calls it a day. I don’t know his motivation or his publisher’s, and I didn’t appreciate certain references in the article but on the point of reform Mariotti is dead on. The line between the typical and atypical Cub fan has to be drawn, to keep real Cubs fans sane and broadcasters out of more trouble.

I’d like to suggest that we come up with a basic Cubs fan manifesto. It won’t fit every fan perfectly, but here are some basic things I’ll put out there:

• We the Cub fans take every pitch, every inning, and every game (but not ourselves) too seriously. How else would we have survived World Series victories by the Cardinals and White Sox in consecutive years?




• We the Cub fans acknowledge that our fandom is expressed in various and divergent ways — some of us prefer Steve Goodman’s “Go Cubs Go” and some prefer “A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request”




• We the Cub fans heckle in good fun, and with the knowledge that your team’s slugger or ace is several years older than his listed age.




• We the Cub fans don’t drink ourselves stupid at Wrigley — we have more respect for the current team, former players, and each other than that.




• We the Cub fans hope you get kicked out if you drink yourself stupid at Wrigley, and may choose to not reach for any foul balls hurtling towards you.




• We the Cub fans outnumber you, sometimes at your ballpark.




• We the Cub fans are proud to be represented by the best fan of any sports or team, Ernie Banks.

What would you add to the manifesto? Leave a comment and let us know.

Back in March when Spring Training was only a few weeks old, ESPN’s John Kruk (it’s weird not calling him Fried Food’s John Kruk) predicted that not only would the Chicago Cubs win the Word Series in 2008, but that Derrek Lee would be the NL MVP this season. I admit that I scoffed at the remarks. What does a guy know that only sees a handful of games and a boatload of packaged highlight clips? Something I didn’t.

Derrek Lee is all-world right now, and in a few week’s time has solidified himself as hands down the Cubs best player on both sides of the ball. He’s homered in 5 straight games at Wrigley, and in the last 10 games he’s raised his average 30 points, drove in 12 runs, scored 11 times, and has more walks than strikeouts. In those games the Cubs are 8-2, due in no small part to Lee’s prowess.

His home run stroke is back, as is his uncanny ability to come through at the most important times. It’s a shame that there’s no way to measure good momentum, because Derrek is leading every league in that category. And I haven’t even mentioned his glove.

The difference between Lee’s glove this year and last is subtle but readily apparent. And Sheps pointed out to me that D-Lee won the Gold Glove in 2007. They should give him one for both hands if he keeps up this spectacular defense. He won last Sunday’s finale in Philadelphia with his glove, making an incredible play to force extra innings by grabbing a smash by Carlos Ruiz and beating Ruiz to the bag. In Pittsburgh a few days prior Lee prevented the winning run from scoring (also in the 9th) on a surprise bunt by Jose Bautista. Brian Bixler was napping at 3rd and should have tried to score, but he had to see Derrek aggressively charging that ball, opting to stay put.

Those are two examples of game-winning defense by Lee, and his play in the 9th inning has been superb, but his play in the first 8 innings deserves praise as well. That difference between this year and last — he’s not only making the Gold Glove caliber plays…he’s making all the insane plays that even Gold Glovers have problems with. So to Derrek, a tip of the cap to you, sir, your play has reminded me why I love this game. And to Kruk…I apologize, and we’ll talk later about your other prediction.

When it comes to just about anything, predictions are silly. Everyone knows this, it’s common sense. And yet the companies in charge of taking polls during each election cycle are raking it in like never before. They’re like the gasoline companies of the human mind, because we act like we can’t live without knowing what (a sample of) everyone thinks, all the time. So we fill out their bubbles for them, and they go back to the candidates armed with the results and their Amazon Wish Lists.

Much the same way, I’ve become a little obsessed with asking people around me to share their prediction for each series, including this upcoming one against the Reds. Not because I’ll use your prediction to measure the success or failure of my own prediction, but because the act itself of sharing predictions with you emboldens me to say that the Cubs will win 2 of 3. I need you to understand that I don’t think the Cubs will actually win 2 of 3, and yet that’s my prediction. Sharing that prediction helps me deal with being a fan of this year’s rendition of the Cubs.

So, uh, thanks…and switching gears…

What doesn’t fan the flames of being a fan is the ridiculously overblown hype regarding Dusty Baker’s return to the North Side as manager of the Cincinnati Reds. Dude, I could care less. The Sun-Times has dedicated their entire online Cubs coverage today to Dusty’s return to Chicago. It’s ludicrous. The good political editors of the world need to be reminded that if politics are “sport” it doesn’t work the other way around. At least not for this.

Dusty did his thing for 4 years, managed class act players and toddlers dressed as men alike, got the boot after ‘06 and watched from the Bay Area as the Cubs supplied their new manager with 1/3 of a billion dollars to acquire new talent. He doesn’t deserve booing. He might not deserve clapping. What he does deserve is for the baseball fans in this town to forget about those seasons and move the hell on.

Dusty wasn’t elected and he wasn’t voted out of office. His term simply ended. Originally I predicted that those sentences would end this post, but then figured I should provide some content instead of just railing on all the papers that profit off of Mariotti these days.

The Reds won 9 games against the Cubs last year, tied for the most wins they had against any team. As the rivalry with the Brewers has gotten more intense, we may not think about the Reds as much, but we should. Also that certain outfielder with a certain name, with a certain brother that plays for the Iowa Cubs? He leads the Reds with 4 HR, 28 total bases, and a .667 slugging percentage. Felix, don’t pay any attention to the latest polls. They’re meaningless.

So during the 5th inning of the Cubs/Pirates 15 inning affair on Wednesday, the little lady gave me some alarming news. Her best gal pal had fallen ill and wasn’t able to go with her to a Bon Jovi concert they had tickets for that night. Now here’s the thing, I’m not in the business of going to Bon Jovi concerts. As a matter of fact, neither is the misses exactly, but apparently she and her friend wanted to “laugh and rock out” to the music they loved when they were younger. (As a side note, I’m starting to think she’s lying to me about her age.)

Not wanting her to lose out on the experience/coupled with the fact that Wood just gave up a game tying HR, I caved and we hopped on the metro down to Staples. (Think el to United Center.) What happened next? Well I’ll tell you, Bon Jovi and an old looking guy I’m told is Richie Sambora proceeded to rock my face off. I soon looked like this:

Ok, not really, but it was a lot more fun than I expected. Now, you’re probably wondering, what does this have to do with the Cubs? Well it’s pretty simple. Those games against the Pirates were so boring, I feel lucky I got to miss 6 innings of one at a Bon Jovi concert. Thanks for the sweep, but I’m begging you Cubs, no more marathon games in front of 5 thousand fans, please. Games like that are bad medicine. Whoa oh oh.